Dental Facility News: Inisfreean dental hygiene and orthodontics involve absolutely no metal tools, braces, spacers, retainers, dentures, caps, or mercury-based fillings.
The Dental Facility
FOBian (another term for 'Inisfreean residents') dental science is starkly contrasted to Outlander dental science and practices. Inisfreeans do not use scraping tools, nor do they apply spacers, braces, dentures, or head-gear. Inisfreean dentists can solve nearly any conceivable dental problem by simply licking the teeth and gums of the patient. This works to cure halitosis, as well, although most of these ailments are usually instantly cured upon reaching the first (outermost) chamber of the Pearly Gates; proximity to Inisfreeans -especially when in their realm- is enough to right just about any wrong.
FOBians needing any dental assistance for straight teeth or cleaning is virtually unheard of, usually only being attributed to incredible surprises during combat operations. Thus, this Inisfreean dental facility, one of the wings of its only hospital, are typically only utilized by Outlanders visiting the city as guests.
Dental check-ups are bi-annual, mandatory, and free for all Inisfreeans. Due to this, along with the wizardry-level of Inisfreean dental science, gingivitis and periodontitis do not exist in Inisfree. However, if you French kiss enough Inisfreean girls, you'll probably never need to come to this dental facility, for their saliva perfects, not just fixes, teeth and gums. This clinic is more for newcomers seeking an alternative to the ridiculous, barbaric, Outlander dental practices which cause more cavities and gum decay than they remedy, due to the stressed Outlander dental clinics heap upon their clients with bills, thoughtless spells, and scraping by sharp tools instead of loving caresses.
The dentist's mirror is a tool commonly utilized by SWAT and other special forces.