Hospital News: This hospital has now combined the best of Western and Eastern healing techniques.
This is the only medical facility in the Inisfreean realm. Nearly all beings approved as guests to this realm find that the Inisfreean realm's many special qualities, such as how it was built, and which energies pass through it and are generated by it, renders them superhuman if not nearly immortal. Thus, this hospital is typically only used to help those traumatized by various Outlands incidents more slowly stabilize and acclimate to the Inisfreean culture.
Dimensions & Layout:
Inisfree's hospital measures one quarter of a mile across each of its four sides, giving it a floor-space per story of 1,742,400 square feet; that's bigger than 58 of the largest mansions combined. It stands many stories tall, as well, giving it room to house thousands of suites, bringing its total rooms count well into the tens of thousands; an entire city could be housed here, each patient enjoying the space, privacy, and luxury of royalty. Hospital beds are so luxurious here that they are almost throne-like, and have their own canopies, making each one more of a princess's canopy bed than a reclining gurney. Wheelchairs are available in all closets, and they, too, look as luxurious as little, wheeled thrones (though, of course, given that they are made by the Inisfreeans, they hover; built-in Repulsines, standard). Lastly, each suite has at least one stone tiled patio as its wide balcony, complete with banisters shaped like leg-sized Chess pieces, and extra-cushioned love-seats and outdoor sunning beds, all of which have their sheets air-dried and changed daily.
Nuru massages are one of the chief methods the Inisfreeans use to rapidly heal and stabilize their patients, as Inisfreeans have mastered the arts of sex to such an extent that their sexual abilities are truly godlike. As impressive as gods and tools such as Thor and Mjolnir are, or the god who allegedly created the entire Universe in but a day, so are the Inisfreeans when they are having sex. Yes, they are that stunningly good, and this hospital is where their sex is gentlest and most therapeutic. You will hear the politely quiet, sometimes muffled sounds of tender, heartfelt, brilliant lovemaking in almost every suite of this, the only hospital in Inisfree.
The main entrance to this hospital is a revolving door so large that it has its own fountains and chandeliers.
The main form of transportation up and down between this facility's floors is the elevator, though the elevators here are so luxurious that they have gold-framed mirrors, thrones of studded leather for chairs, and smooth diamonds for floor-selection buttons (though, of course, one's own mind can direct the elevator she is in, as all Inisfreean devices and other constructs can interpret the impulses of the brain that are thoughts).
See what each wing of Inisfree's Hospital looks like, and what it is for:
- Acute & Complex Medicine
- Alien Hand Syndrome Unit
- Bionics & Cybernetics
- Burn Unit (chemical, thermal, radiological; sunburns)
- Contagious Unit (for patients with transmissible diseases)
- Counseling (mental therapy, not necessarily related to mental illness)
- Decompression Sickness
- Hypothermia & Frostbite
- Gastroenterology & Poison Control Center (food poisoning, venomous bites, etc.)
- General Surgery & Surgical Assessment Unit
- General Medicine (acupressure, acupuncture, crystals, etc.)
- Lab long-stay
- Microwave & Other Noninvasive Surgery
- Orientation (for newcomers transitioning from the Receiving Facility into daily topside Inisfreean life)
- Otolaryngology (head & neck)
- Pharmacy (essential oils, herbal remedies, etc.)
- Psychiatry (mental illnesses, such as hypochrondia)
- Psychology (healthy mind studies; not specializing in mental illnesses)
- Pulmonary / Respiratory
- Radiation Sickness / Poisoning
- Reconstruction (grafting, nanobots, etc.)
- Rehabilitation (physical therapy via CrossFit, tai chi, yoga, water resistance, etc.)
- Triage & Unidentified Ailment Diagnosis Unit